Gotta love the "war on drugs".
What's the obvious thing to do when a woman gives birth and her urine tests positive for "drugs"? Well, if you're Lawrence County, PA, the first thing you do is shows up at the parents' door and takes the child by force, and only after that do you figure out whether or not any drugs were actually involved, and whether or not the child was in any danger.
Then later, when you find out the woman simply had an "Everything" bagel from Dunkin' Donuts the day before, you say "Oops! What a silly misunderstanding!" and give the kid back all bashful like.
(Then you get sued by the ACLU, the taxpayer foots the bill for your incompetence, and you probably won't even get a reprimand! Teehee!)